Normal is not an Option

I have been talking and meeting with a lot of moms of wounded kids these past few weeks.  One mom’s 17 year old adopted son just ran away this week.  He was in a program for delinquents when they adopted him, but had been doing great up until recently.  She’s heartbroken.  Some moms don’t know if they can make it another day.  It’s just too hard to love this out of control kid.  Some moms just feel weary and emotionally exhausted.  Some seem to be doing fine, but they are looking for ways to better help their kiddos.  

Regardless of where they are at in this journey, I find one thing to be completely obvious.  These moms love their kids.  Whether they’ve just started out or have been doing this for years, they love their kids.  Whether they are feeling burnt out or completely rejuvenated, they are doing an amazing job…and love their kids!

Did I mention that they love their kids?  Do they get burnt out?  YES!  Do they tire of dealing with attrotious behavior?  YES, YES!  Do they always know the right thing to do?  Nope.  But, these amazing moms, through exhaustion and emotional fatigue, push through to figure out the answers!  They get up, every day, and keep on keeping on.  And that, in itself, makes you a hero. 

And, just so you amazing moms know….I admire all of you so much.  You have put up with more than what is humanly possible, and they keep loving.  Even when you feel like you hate your child.  It’s not the child that you hate….it’s the incredibly awful behaviors that are exhausting you.

Remember, moms….You may not always like your child’s behavior.  Who would?  But, you absolutely would give your life for them.  In fact, you do so right now, day in and day out, in the little things you do, despite how you feel.  You give your life for them every day.  And you deserve way more applause than you ever will receive in this lifetime.  Thumbs up to you!!!  Know that the angels in heaven applaud you, every day, as you’re dealing with a mountain of laundry because your child once again peed in his clothing on purpose.  They cheer you on as you deal with the dumb questions, constant chatter, glares, “I hate you’s,” stealing, lying, and neediness.  I know that sometimes you don’t feel like what you do makes that much difference (mostly because the change comes so slowly).  I know there are times you want to throw in the towel and take the next bus out of town!  I know sometimes you feel exhausted, beat down, alone, afraid, and like no one out there cares or understands.  I know.  I’ve been there, too.  

But God sees what you do, day in and day out.  He sees the heartache you feel in your heart.  He sees the aprehension and the wondering if this child will really be able to “make it” as they get older.  He sees all of that.  And He hasn’t abandoned you.  You are not alone.  And He sees you as AN AMAZING MOM!  Despite your discouragement and fatigue.  He knows.

Please don’t let the messages from your children (or other people, for that matter) tell you otherwise.  You know…the constant messages you get saying, “You can’t take care of me.” or “You don’t love me.”  or “You don’t ever do enough for me (or give me enough – attention, love, hugs, stuff, etc.).”  You are amazing.  You are the one for the job.  A tough job…undoubtedly.  But one you were created for and can do like no one else can do.  Not many people would be able to fill your shoes.  Most wouldn’t last a day.  But, you have lasted this long.  Your child still lives, right?  You haven’t yet dropped him along side of the highway for him to fend for himself yet, right?  That’s a huge accomplishment!!  :)  Give yourself a pat on the back!!!!  And, you take it one step further.  You actually do good things for this child who repays you by spitting in your face emotionally (or perhaps physically from time to time).  You keep plugging along.

I’d also like to remind you that you are not doing what you are doing for this child.  Yes, we want them to heal.  Yes, we do lots of stuff for this child every day.  But, ultimately, it can’t be for this child that we work.  Otherwise, our love will fail and grow weak.  No….our work must be for the One Who loves us, Who saved us, and Who every day gives us the grace to go another moment.  His love – endless.  His grace – ours for the taking.  It can’t be on our own or for our kids we work.  It must be for Him and in His strength alone that we do this work.

May all of you awesome moms (especially those of you who don’t feel so awesome right now) have a blessed day!  (And, usually when you don’t feel very awesome, it’s because you are dealing with way more than one person should have to.)  I pray for others to come along side of you and encourage you right now in the middle of your struggle and pain.  May God’s love come down and remind you that God loves YOU…not just your child.